Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Fright Fest

     My wife and I absolutely loved going to Six Flags when we were younger. We would get season passes and, due to the fact that we lived so close, go a few times a week. Most times we went in the late afternoon or on rainy days since the crowds would be small. As great as it was to ride Medusa several times in a row, it paled in comparison to the park's annual Halloween celebration Fright Fest.

     The amount of work that must go into transforming the park into one big haunted attraction is mind-blowing. The level of detail is actually quite amazing. Caskets, tombstones, and pumpkins litter the park. Workers dress in costume, ranging from gory to nightmare-inducing. Even the old Warner Bros. characters like Porky Pig get in on the action, dressing in robes to shock the younger crowd. It was really quite amusing to see the people who scare easily freak out over what I considered to be little things.

     Until it happened to me. One particular night, my wife and I were there with my brother and his girlfriend. It was getting dark out, usually when the kids started to leave and the adults had dominion over the park. As we made our way over to the part of the park that housed Runaway Train, a favorite of ours since childhood, I noticed what looked to be the detailed dummy of a clown hanging from a post.

     I approached this mannequin to get a closer look at the level of design, completely oblivious to the fact that I was in a place designed to try and scare everyone. Looking back at the level of naivete that I exhibited, I'm a little embarrassed that I approached the dummy as calmly as I did. I began to reach out to touch it, all too curious to see what could be stuffing this garment in such a lifelike fashion.

     When I was within reaching distance, it happened. The employee who had been lying in wait for some schmuck to get close enough sprang into action. He made as if to grab at me, hoping I would shriek, followed a few laughs at how ridiculous I had been. That's not at all what he got.

     Unfortunately for him, the arm I had been extending to touch his costume reacted quite violently to his sudden jumpscare. I connected with a clean rabbit punch that would have made Rocky proud. Equally unfortunate for this guy was the fact that he was standing on a pedestal so that he would appear to be hanging from the post. This was enough to put him crotch height with my fist of fury.

     As he groaned in pain mixed with shock he crumpled to the ground. I found myself twenty feet away, seemingly teleporting myself away from further danger while proving my autonomic nervous system capable of fight-and-flight. The rest of my party remained at the scene of the crime, laughing uncontrollably.

     After this incident, which my wife still reminds of occasionally, I don't ridicule people who freak out over seemingly safe scares. Everyone has a different threshold, some just take longer to reach.Thinking about this incident brings to mind images of the people who get scared easily, and how they are generally able to laugh it off afterwards. They seem to seek that feeling of knowing they are safe after this potential threat. This realization is the high they are looking for.

     The other thing this brings to mind is how ridiculously dangerous this whole idea is. Put a large group of strangers together, under the anonymity of costumes that are inherently gory. This seems like an invitation to do bodily harm to someone unnoticed. It's almost as ridiculous as telling kids they should never take candy from strangers and then sending them out on Halloween to do just that.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Here We Go...

     I'm sure everyone is familiar with the stores that specialize in costumes and home decor that crop up a few weeks before Halloween.  You start to notice them September in the locations that can't ever seem to hold a business that isn't seasonal. In my area, they started opening up in August, officially making Halloween the new Christmas.

     I don't mind it. Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I love seeing the new merchandise that will someday scar neighborhood children. I used to fantasize about buying everything that would transform my place into a haunted house or a ghoulish graveyard. Cobwebs and candelabrums on the mantel, books containing spells and potions decorating the shelves, even spooky silverware for the occasion. Then I realize I'm the kind of person who can appreciate all that, but not the kind who actually wants to do it. Not like my neighbors.

     The people who live across the street go all out when it comes to Halloween. The yard is set up like a desecrated graveyard, replete with an in-progress human sacrifice (usually a volunteer) taking place right in the driveway. Ten-foot tall wrought iron fences are erected at the curb, from which dangle dozens of baby dolls. The neighbor, Jim, wearing a top hat and white face paint, takes residence in the middle of the street where he draws pentagrams using chalk. The most recent addition was a gallows three years ago. They rigged it up so that rope, while appearing to be around the neck, actually hooks into a harness that holds the weight of his oldest son. When approached by a trick-or-treater, the son wriggles and spasms, terrifying everyone. The inside of the house is done up as well, but my daughter is too scared to go inside (she tells me this is the year).

     The point of this digression is that even though the little toddlers who come through my neighborhood scream and cry when faced with this spectacle, they don't want to leave. They want to see everything go down as long as it's from a safe distance. And it's the same thing with my kids when we go to the Halloween store.

     As soon as my kids catch wind of one of these stores being open we have to go. Everyday if they could. My wife and I wouldn't mind taking them so much if they actually seemed to enjoy themselves when we were there.

     They both apprehensively approach the door, tiptoeing as though they are going to wake a sleeping dragon. Once inside, they get their feet wet in the kids section. Among the M&M, Power Ranger, and Power Puff Girl costumes they find temporary sanctuary. From these first few aisles they peak out at the more mature products: zombie babies, bloody corpses, and terrifying phantoms.

     It's generally at this point that one of us has to pick my son up. My daughter is good for walking on her own, clutching at her mother's hand for a few more minutes. I hold my son in my arms while he tries to both see and avoid every ghoulish thing in the place. I'm not usually one for terrorizing children, but if you ever need a good snuggling from your little one, bring them to one of these places.

     When the kids were smaller, we were able to venture all the way into the back of the store without them protesting. That's where they keep the most hardcore items. Full-size witches cackle while four foot spiders lie in wait. Much of this is motion-activated, which even scares me a little bit. It doesn't matter that you know something is going to jump out at you, it still startles you when it does. Luckily, in the past few years they have attached these products to little plates you have to step on to activate. I have been given permission to step on several displays, but only after the kids have been placed a safe distance away and I have promised no one will be injured.

     Eventually, the kids are freaked out enough that they want to leave. We are usually still in the parking lot when they both start talking about going back to the Halloween store.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

What's the Plan?

           

            Sorry to be so late with my post. I moved buildings this year, have a new principal, and have 3-5 new initiatives starting all at once. Once everything settles over the next few weeks I hope to find a steadier rhythm.

            I’m still very strong on the idea of writing about fear and how people respond to it. After discussions with Dr. Zamora, it appears to be headed in the direction of documenting myself in scary, allegedly haunted locations. I had all summer to plan it out and to start visiting places, but failed to take advantage of the time. My wife is incredibly excited about the project. She bought me a GoPro for Father’s Day in anticipation of our visits to these places.

            Some of the activities that I have lined up are the engagements I briefly mentioned last week. The talks will examine Jersey legends with a strong emphasis on the Jersey Devil. In October, I’m even taking Maddy on “Jersey Devil Hunt”. That will incorporate how people of all ages respond to terrifying situations. Burlington County Prison Museum offers tours and is supposedly haunted, so that will be a stop. Eastern State Penitentiary has been a dream of ours since many of the shows we watch feature it heavily. 

To continue using my kids as material, I’ve been documenting our frequent trips to Spirit Halloween since they popped up last month. We’re talking three to four times a week. We have four different Halloween stores in our area and my kids absolutely love them; but they are terrified once they get there and want to leave. What is it that calls them back?

Weird NJ offers so many ideas and places that are off the beaten path. This past Friday, a 20-year-old woman fell off a catwalk while exploring the Curtis Specialty Paper Superfund Site. The EPA goes around and cleans up sites that could potentially pose a risk to public health. Unfortunately, many of these same places draw people in who are looking to explore. So many people ignore the fences and warning signs, unaware of or ignoring the fact that these abandoned sites are decaying and seriously dangerous. I won’t be doing that. As a grown man with a family and a career, I think I’ll be staying away from trespassing and any other activities that could prove dangerous.


I’m anxious to see how it will eventually pan out. This is already a different idea from what I started with, but I’m happier with what it has morphed into. I am extremely excited for this project and can’t wait to see how it will turn out. If anything, my family will get to create a lot of memories and fun experiences together.